Megan Rene's Blog

why do you do what you do to me, yeah

2010-09-15T03:24:00.002-05:00

Basically, life doesn't stop on account of what YOU are feeling or thinking. It keeps trudging along. This past week, I think I learned that people aren't what you think they are. When they do something you think is "uncharacteristic" of them, maybe it's not. Maybe that's them, and you didn't know them as well as you may have thought. People are so oblivious to what goes on around them, including myself. I wonder what all I miss out on and don't pick up on as I see there is a hell of a lot of that going on around me.
Don't dwell on things. I think about things an awful lot, things that probably didn't deserve much attention in the first place. The "why's" and the "what if's"... does that stuff really matter? probably not as much as we make it out to.
I'm finding a lot of comfort in music right now, because it is allowing me to feel what I am feeling without needing to discuss it with anyone. pretty powerful stuff.
well, '30 seconds to mars' concert on the 30th. stoked.
oh yeah... & miracles DO happen.

so many things i'd say if only i were able...

2010-08-28T14:33:00.009-05:00

Wow... it's been over a year since I posted on this thing & reading all these posts are making me feel really weird and miss how it used to be a little bit. I have been living in an apartment with Katie for about almost 5 months now, and our lease is up in October. It has been fun and everything, but I am ready to get to a University and get OUT OF TYLER. I missed home when I was at Grayson, but now looking back... I am SUPPOSED to be living life away from the people I grew up with and have known all my life. I am SUPPOSED to miss my sister's sporting events... and the thing to do would be "visit"... not come back home. I like having my own place, but I am ready for a change. My plan is to finish up this semester & get my Associates from TJC, apply for Texas State after the semester is over, and move there in the fall when I have a good bit of money saved up and I will be 21! whoop whoop! :D

This past summer was a great one. Parties at our apartment, meeting new people, and people coming and going from my life. I have made a few new good friends that I didn't have before and I have also learned that I am not incapable of feeling some things as I thought I might be. It's definitely been a ride. I will be moving in with my Mimi in Waterton mid-October and hopefully i will have a steady job by then. I am just going to take it easy, focus on making good grades, & save my money.

As most things in life, everything hasn't gone "quite" as planned in the past year. I have done things I swore I'd never do, been hurt, laughed a whole lot, been scared to death, thanked God for his miraculous deeds, and been surprised by more things than not. We got a kitten! Her name is Lyric and I will be keeping her when the lease is up. OH! Also, relationships that I never even imagined would come back into my life... have somehow reappeared better than ever and I am more than grateful for that.

Basically, I have grown up and learned a hell of a lot since I last posted on here. But I am ready to take what I have learned and apply it elsewhere, keep all the new... and old friendships alive and better than ever, and go meet new people, do new things, learn new things, and live life like it was intended to be lived.

::megan rene'

be better than you were yesterday.

2009-07-09T03:26:00.002-05:00

WELL BEHAVED WOMEN RARELY MAKE HISTORY.
sorry these posts are getting so spaced out. the last week and a half has been pretty great. this past weekend was july fourth weekend and jordan came in for the weekend so we all got to spend some time with her... it was super fun and long overdue. im listening to the new cd beej burnt me right now and i love it. i stepped in her dog's crap tonight and then tried to put my shoes in a bag and put them on my antenna on the way home and.. well.. my antenna isnt straight up and i lost my flops. lol =P but its fine because they smelt like ass. literally. lol well i have been watching a lot of baseball for the past week and am going to watch some softball tomorrow night. my boys (brandon and mason) have been playin all stars in tyler and alyssa is in district in whitehouse. i leave next weekend for a week with the hearons, so im pretty excited about that. (:

i registered for tjc and am trying to figure out a way to have an apartment and a good job by the second semester. the job thing being first. oh yeah. i am almost positive i have swimmers ear. i have never had that and now that we have a pool and im swimming like every day, hellurr! ugh.. its not very pleasant. grayson is not being very nice lately... its making me sad. :( oh yeah.. and mom recorded the michael jackson funeral and deleted it before i could watch it!! agh i was so mad. but im going to find a way.

well... its 3:35am so i guess i will finish this later today and sleep for now.
:: megan rene'

just gotta hope its what i want in the end.

2009-06-22T01:50:00.006-05:00

so, dane cook was amazing. i just watched juno and it was also amazing. i rented waiting because i was told its amazing. and i had a fantastical weekend, it was amazing. :) friday:: i babysat, drove to commerce to neeleys apartment, we ate at soulmans and then headed to dane cook!! being that close to him was freaking awesome and i loved it! they had pretty good opening acts as well. (: then we came back, went to walmart, and back to her apartment for the night. her doggy was pretty cool and little. also im going to say ryan and hunter are the luckiest two people in the world. enough said.

saturday i got to see the infamous HONEY GROVE and katie showed me around to all the places that one tree hill filmed at when they were there. it was awesome. =D then i made the drive home which was pleasant, maybe because i had an awesome night the night before but i did like the drive... it was loverly. then i got home.. swam, ran, showered, went to nannys and walmart to get things to make dads scrapbook i made him for fathers day. productive day i will say

then today i woke up super late because i went to sleep at like 6am. had a terrible migraine. got rid of it then hung out with nanny and the family. read mom and dads old love letters. lol then i rented waiting and madea goes to jail. had an amazing dinner, hung out with grayson and swam a bit, watched juno and currently watching WAITING.

im sure more things have happened since i last posted but i dont feel like racking my brain as to what those things might have been.

::megan rene'

youre a part time lover and a full time friend.

okay... the week has gone by & i never finished this post so here goes nothin.

i made a HUGE decision today and i am hoping its for the best but i cant be for sure yet i guess... i guess you may be wondering what it was. i have decided not to attend lon morris this fall and play softball on a softball scholarship. i love the game with all my heart, but i have quite a few things that i need to work on for me and for the rest of my life to pan out nicely... such as school, a real job, and losing weight and such. i want to be happy with my weight, so i really need to focus on that without worrying if i can fit into a softball uniform and not look like a complete lard ass and also my studying habits SUCK. so hopefully in this next year i can work on both of those with some success. :) i am actually really looking forward to it. the success part. i really REALLY wanted to go to school with one of my best friends and a girl i love with all my heart and consider her more of a sister than a friend any day. i do feel like i am letting her down as well as the other people who saw how grayson played out for me and wanted better for me and KNEW i was better than that. but i know honestly that i could have helped out on the team at grayson and believe i would have brought something to the team that they missed out on by not giving me that opportunity in ths spring. i will have to say that i am VERY upset that i will never be in the dugout like that, in big competition and screaming my lungs out with girls that i love and consider family... but i didnt have that at grayson so i can say i have been used to not having that for over a year now. i did consider them my family, yes... but the screaming and intensity of it how it used to be definitely wasnt there for me with all that was going on. so of course i cant be positive about all this right now... but i have made the decision and now i gotta stick to it. not too excited to explain it to everyone either but oh well... gotta make something of myself now. (:

other than that, the past week was pretty good, was with my kids like always (: -- been swimmin like crazy.. yesterday was the first day in a week and a half that i didnt go swimming... haha i love it. brooke is in colorado now for a week with the church, so i will definitely be missing her. anyways.. ill put pics and stuff up later because im babysitting...

::megan rene'

--addtions to my post (:

And the same when autumn comes...

2009-06-15T05:30:00.005-05:00

Cold Air I breathe in my lungs
Something's new but nothing's changed
Familiar feelings just the same
Soon too the warm air comes by
Lie back and stare at blue skies
Thinking back away and from
When I'll be here and you'll be gone
Further from meI think now of summers high
And reminisce on past times gone by
Only remembered now in
Earth, trees, the stars that have been there
And there forever heldKept safe but memories never told
But felt if you went by
In never changing sky
And we'll be goneFurther
God's love will save our light and we'll come shining bright
God's love will save our sun and thy will be done
God's light will save us...

so... 4 days until DANE COOK! :)
1 month and 2 days until MY BIRTHDAY! :)

umping went a lot smoother this past week. thank goodness. i got to hang out with my favorite kids all week, and saturday was brandon & jordan's birthday... two VERY important people to me!! i got bran the movie taken and also napolean dynamite (being as that one was on the four dollar rack and i thought he liked it haha) and a case of cream soda && i got jordan a tshirt from pineapple willys, a shot glass, a lighter, an ELVIS sign, and the movie unfaithful (which is very sexual ha but also very awesome [:). i will be so happy to be getting mail from her soon!! PEN PALS! bahaha :) also brittany (the former roomie) asked for my address today and im REALLY wondering why she was askin for it! im kinda anxious. lol

today i watched some detective shows, yes brit i watched em. haha then i watched some "im a celebrity, get me out of here" because that show cracks me up so much. janice couldnt be more of a bitch and a liar. lol she obviously ate the granola bar and we all watched her do it and she goes on to deny it and play the "pity me" roll. haha i was crying from laughing so hard. =P then i helped dad assemble our new pool!! its above ground, one of those four ft ones... but we have never had one and i need some sun and some exercise to go along with it so i am happyyyy!! :) they are even going to build a deck! which i am super excited about! then i went and picked up alyssa and grayson and me, alyssa, and brooke practiced some hitting and throw downs then hung out for a bit, then they ended up staying the night over here. :) i absolutely love them! brandon was at a friend's so he didnt come with them though. grayson is getting so big.. its kinda sad but he is still the most awesome kid anyone could ever imagine! (: (: (:

well it is 5:41 am and i am still awake, which may be a problem come tomorrow... but maybe not. i slept late this morning so maybe i am making up for it?? haha maybe not. jordan's little picture quotes had me lookin for some myself so i am gonna put a few on here today because i found some really good ones.. plus a couple bob marley ones for you jordy since i know you love him and you havent put them up yet so i didnt know if you had them!! :) you probably do, but in the off chance that you do not... you will now!

i went through my old xanga with my little sister a while ago.. well hours ago... and all my quotes and stuff on there she loved. i think since i had it around the same age that she is now, she can relate to a lot of it so that made me happy :) and sad too about some aspects of that. lol

anyways i am really wishing my cd burner would work. that would make me so happy. and i wish the movie "PUSH" would come out so i can buy it. along with "HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU" which i will get within the next couple weeks... when i get the money to spend on movies. :)

okie dokie, well i'm out. (:

::megan rene'

JORDAN'S BOB MARLEY ONES :)

let's have some fun, this beat is sick...

2009-06-07T15:29:00.006-05:00

I WANNA TAKE A RIDE ON YOUR DISCO STICK (:
so, a lot has happened since my last post. i found out that denyse (the mother of the kids i babysit) has pulled grayson from daycare, so i get to keep him all summer and not just a few days a week! im super excited! my first day of babysitting was friday and it was awesome as expected. (: we all got up and moving around 10:30 ish and then layed around a while... next thing we did was go get the little kitten that brandon's friend gave to him! it is so cute and tiny! they named it smokey i think... the name changes every two seconds, GO FIGURE! :P then i took some sweet pics of them jumping on their new trampoline! then i had to ump and it was absolutely HORRIBLE. it has never been that bad. coaches and parents were awful and all i could do was laugh at their stupidity and rudeness. [even thought they were wrong still. ha!] people are dumb. haha

got back from florida thursday afternoon and i brought back a lot of things to remember it by! shells, pics, shirts, shot glasses, keychains... and things like that. got some people some things. haha that they will LOVE and do LOVE. (: hmm about florida. it was so pretty and i was glad to get to go the beach again this summer but i was also verrry happy to be back home too! we went to panama city and i loved it! we drank, layed out, swam, shopped, and ate.. that was about the jist of it. the people we went with were a ton of fun though. just wasnt all how i had hoped in some ways... but in others it was good.

well like i said i got home thursday, babysat friday, and yesterday KATIE, RYAN, AND NEELEY (aka::nilly) came to stay the night in whitehouse with me! we didnt really do much because so many people are out of town and all... but we had a good time. we went to see the hangover yesterday and it was HILARIOUS all the way through... it was so great. haha and then we came back and dad cooked out and a bunch of people came over. hmm the hearon kiddos, kevin & denyse, nana and poppa, jack and jackson, beej and erica, allison... and then us four. it was some fun. and mom bought stuff for us to drink which is COMPLETELY out of character for her. lol but good for us. we just hung out with everyone and messed around.... they got to see a little bit of the whitehouse life (: then we watched wanted and went to sleep. this morning we got up to dad bringin breakfast home from the donut palace and we sat and watched boston legal with him for a little bit. then, ironically, the episode of one tree hill that katie, ryan, and neeley are in was on tv as a re-run and the channel happened to be on SOAPnet so that was freakin weird. haha so we watched that and my mom freaked out and what not. then we went to dairy queen and they headed back home to get things done there! it was a good visit but entirely too short! they will hopefully head back down here again ASAP for a longer weekend and one where we can get on the lake :) :)

on the plus side, dane cook is in 12 days!!! got neeley's money to her and now i can REALLY be excited about going to see dane cook SECOND row on the 19th!!! ahhh its going to be great! and that means it wont be long until i see all them again either! :) plus ryan and hunter will be there too!! its going to be a lot of fun! now we just got figure out the riding arrangements... :P

well this is the first week im gonna start working out again and stuff... starts tonight so... wish me luck. ya know i hate it. well my smokey is in california and i miss her like crazy plus i was hoping the girls would get to meet her, and taylor smith (who was at a family thing in trinity), and jordan (in orlando), and doodle (in florida)... so that didnt all quite work out. but they met beeeej and allison and my kiddos and pootchop! so its all good :)

im currently looking at the songs jordan puts at the bottom of her blog anf downloading them. dont make fun :)

::megan rene'

pics from the past week and a half or so (:

yeah buddy, rollin' like a bigshot. (:

2009-05-26T16:41:00.009-05:00

this may not come as a huge surpise buuut.. i miss my jordyyy :(
last time i updated she still had a little over a week here and now she is in florida having a blasty blast! ahhh. but being an A.S. without her isnt the same. at ALL. haha

WELL. big news since i have last been on here regarding MY LIFE. ha JUNE 19th i am going to see dane cook in dallas with katie and her friend neeley (or nilly as i like to refer to her as) and i am super stoked! 2nd row seats baby! another big surprise is that i am leaving for panama city beach in florida thursday!! me and taylor and all these other people i dont know are going. haha buuut i have never been to florida so i am excited! i thought maybe it was going to be close to where jordan is, but its definitely not. so thats no good. =/ but this means i will be missing graduation parties and my sisters last day of school and the joe's cafe for the junior high on the last day too. which is amazing by the way. i went and saw the jr high one and the high school one last week and the junior high definitely worked harder on theirs. (: i loved it! but i wanted to see it again too... i am hoping i can buy the dvd or video of it if someone records it! angela and brandon both do awesome in it! (: oh another exciting thing is next summer, the hearons are going on a cruise to the bahamas and they definitely said they were taking ME! i am soooo excited! (: yay! so right now things are pretty great.

yesterday i got to see cortney again! this is the second time i have seen her over break.. her momma made me a VERY nice lunch when i was staying with my mimi and then she came to tyler yesterday for some stuff so me and my kiddos met her at the mall and hung out for a little while. (: i also have seen montana too already. sooo ryan, katie, abby, brittany... where ya at guys? come freakin see ME! i miss yall!

oh my gosh... the last three nights have been so much fun! saturday, my smokey spent the night... and we had a blast. sunday my gator spent the night, and we had soooo much fun!! =) and then last night i stayed at taylor russell's house and that was fun too! (: summer is going very well.... and i can definitely say there have been some unexpected surprises that have happened so far, but i am rollin with em and planning on making the most out of all of it.

on the flip side, they shorted me 20 bucks in my check last week for umping and that it just unacceptable. lol they better not forget it on this next one or all hell is about to break loose! hahaha and when i get back from florida, i will start keeping brandon, alyssa, and grayson during the days again. swimmin, eatin, drivin, pictures and the works! im so happy that its summer time! (: buuut i am getting a membership at a gym when i get back from florida because i still havent made myself work out and thats what i need to get to gettin on. so if i pay money i gotta go. haha =P sad that that has to be my incentive to go. but oh well, whatever works.

well i need to go get ready for tonight. i have two little games to ump and i am hoping they run rule them because i love leaving early and still getting the same pay. (: haha
-room's clean, im havin fun, and now im makin money. LIFE IS GOOD.

oh yeah.. kris allen won american idol. so great!
--oh yeah again!! im pissed and happy at the same time... there WILL be a 7th season of one tree hill but my favorite character isnt gonna be in it! PEYTONNN!!!! ahhh.. i dont know what to do with myself.

::megan rene'

every song ends, is that any reason to not enjoy the music?

2009-05-13T12:36:00.008-05:00

(: ahh summer...

wednesday. okay i think OTH [one tree hill] is the most amazing show ever. i'm watching old episodes of it on SOAPnet. loves it. i love how it promotes so much music... always hear new and different songs on this show. its fantastical. limewire and the cwtv website come hand in hand when i download new music. season finale of this season comes on monday... im NOT excited because the last episode didnt end well and that means there will be no more all summer!

i have come to realize that i have the most amazing friends E V E R. i love being back and seeing everyone and spending time with jordy especially since she is leaving for the whole summer in less than two weeks! agh thats not lovely. i miss my bandits and friends from college though. bring on the visits people! i definitely want yall to come see me VERY soon!

went and ate with my little sister today... i love all these junior high babies! the screaming kiddos that come running to me that i have known for as long as i can remember. love it! brooke special ordered for me to get her an orange cream slush from sonic and i did as i was told and then she freakin drops the thing when she walked in the door to the cafeteria. lol loser.

home life is a lot different than what i expected. ha i forgot what its like to live with my parents again. so weird. rules? curfew? lectures? oh yeah... thats what its like. haha i have been having to remind myself that i actually missed this... but i did. its just crazy going from college life back to all this. adjustements have to be made.

deception always catches up to you... always.

::megan rene'

monday monday monday

2009-05-11T17:16:00.003-05:00

hello hello (:

i am about to go to brooke's game in a minute... i think she is catching so i am excited because i havent seen her do that in forever! well i had to raincheck on lunch and a movie today with friends because i had no money!! ahh... mom put some money in my account but i am ready to start umping so that i can make my money on my own! thank goodness! i told nanny i might stay with her tonight but im not sure if i will or not now...

jordan stayed over last night and we caught up and had a good night. drove around, watched a movie, ate. lol =P ive definitely missed her! and im sad that she is leaving again in 2 weeks for the whole summer! :( sucks! she made some delicious breakfast today. [fried eggs and toast] yayyy (:

well im about to have to start running... like tonight. im not excited, if you are wondering. hmm i still need to unpack and clean my room. started my laundry a little bit ago so thats good. ha well im going to go get in the shower and get ready to go to brookes game! (:

have a wonderful day

::megan rene'

--beebo the bear, where i got my nickname (:
this is my sister a loooong time ago. haha favorite!

home sweet home.

2009-05-10T16:08:00.003-05:00

so im home (:

im sitting here with my sister listening to music and scanning old pictures to my computer. i love it that my mom is a picture fanatic! today is mothers day and i did some pretty good things for my mom... a picture collage, third season of greys, a card, and a mix cd. =] lucky mom right there. lol

well we got second in the regional tournament so i came home friday. i have already got to hang out with brandon, alyssa, and grayson and i got to see justin friday. its pretty exciting. but now i need to unpack and do laundry. my room is full of bags and baskets of stuff. dad is not too happy about it. and i was also not happy when he woke me up yesterday morning by pouring cold water on me and telling me to clean it up. i was a little bit pissed actually. that wouldnt have happened at school. lol
well thats about all.

::megan rene'

here are some pics of grayson when i took him to his t-ball game. (=
so cute!

we wont say our goodbyes...you know its better that way.

2009-05-07T01:43:00.005-05:00

hey there

today was pretty sad... a lot of the guys moved out today and people's parents were coming to pick up their stuff. our rooms are sooo empty! its weird. well i made end of the year gifts for the bandits, montana, brittany, and abby and that was super sad as well. ): its going to be way weird not coming out of my room and seeing the girls i have lived with for a year.

well today we play the rest of the regional tournament so we will see if the softball girls will be here another week and a half or not. i am so ready to go home, but i want to take some of the girls with me! im going to miss them so much.

we had chocolate chip pancakes tonight... compliments of katie marie williams. they were delightful. also me, ryan, cort, katie, and jessica had our last dinner all together tonight at olive garden... everything is so sad! me, brit, and cort got manicures and pedicures today too. they look real cute. =) so i hope i dont break a nail tomorrow! i have never said that before a ball game but given the circumstances, i think im allowed now. haha

well im starting to get sad about leaving some of the people.
so i definitely have mixed emotions right now. sucks.

gotta get up early and return my books so i guess i'll get off this thing.
ps my flat tire cannot be repaired so i will be driving my spare on the 3 hour drive home friday. or whenever depending if we win or lose. ehh nerves.

::megan rene'

--my family here ):

lucky # 2

2009-05-05T23:47:00.009-05:00

hello again :)

well the games got rained out today, and they were moved to thursday... so i guess i wont be going home that day. =/ but i will get to by friday unless we get first. dad came and got my wooden chest, mini fridge, table, printer, and movies today. he also changed my tire that has been flat for like a week. glad i wont have to be bumming rides anymore. thats no good. ha =)

well i want to put a stinkin layout on here but i cannot figure it out! its making me angry! i got a playlist though, as you can probably hear. :) its pretty sweet, i guess. oh! and i got to talk to my good friend taylor smith tonight!!! i have missed herrr ): but we are definitely hanging out this summer and she reactivated her facebook so im very happy!

me and the rest of the bandits were freakin losers tonight and didnt go out, so we are about to go watch bride wars [which i bought yesterday bc i loooove it :)] after bogata and ryan get done watching dumb ole VH1.

when my dad was leaving today, bogata put her butt up against the door when we were coming in the dorms and my dad saw her. it was SOOO funny. ha he said "tell your buddy if i would have seen her face tonight instead of her ass, i would have told her how good she did the other day." i could not stop laughing. it was the best. leave it to cort to leave such an impression. =P

well i kinda like this thing. reminds me of xanga. anyways im ready to go home! im done with all my classes and finals and whenever we get done with ball, summer will start for me! sooo =)

well, im going to go add a song to my playlist. :)
nighty night

::megan rene'

a little peek @ what i get to go home to! (:

--sister (=

--mommy (:

--daddy!!

--my kiddos (: & my world!

--jordy & justin (:

--beej :: GOOGLY EYES. ha

--my ugly erica!

--smokey! my oth & oc buddy (:

first of all...

2009-05-04T06:18:00.002-05:00

First entry (:

Well, tonight is my last exam, and then I am done with my freshman year of college! =) It's biology II with the easiest teacher ever... think I'll do juuuust fine. I am so ready to go home for the summer. I'm hoping this will happen on Thursday, depending on how the team does in the regional tournament, although i do wish them well.

When I go back home, I get to start babysitting my [F A V O R I T E] kids in the world! Brandon, Alyssa, and Grayson Hearon! (: Pretty sure I will be umpiring this summer as well. Makin' that sweeeeet money. $$$

Well this isn't a long one, but I am just getting used to all this, so I am going to clean, do some laundry, and pack some. Don't think I will be going to sleep anytime soon!

But sheeeesh. I am sleepy.

Here are a few pics of the amazing people I'm going to miss most from GCC. <3

--katie, cortney, and ryan. (AKA:: BANDITS)

some of the best friends i could ever imagine (:

--hello roomie (=

brittany renee stewart :: my roomate and life-long friend. (:

--abby & montana

two of the most amazing and strong girls i know! great friends.

Definitely ready to go home and be with my old friends and my family...

But it's going to be hard leaving these girls. ):

::I cannot go to school today, '

Said little Peggy Ann McKay.'

I have the measles and the mumps,

A gash, a rash and purple bumps.

My mouth is wet, my throat is dry,

I'm going blind in my right eye.

My tonsils are as big as rocks,

I've counted sixteen chicken pox

And there's one more-that's seventeen,

And don't you think my face looks green?

My leg is cut-my eyes are blue-

It might be instamatic flu.

I cough and sneeze and gasp and choke,

I'm sure that my left leg is broke-

My hip hurts when I move my chin,

My belly button's caving in,

My back is wrenched, my ankle's sprained,

My 'pendix pains each time it rains.

My nose is cold, my toes are numb.

I have a sliver in my thumb.

My neck is stiff, my voice is weak,

I hardly whisper when I speak.

My tongue is filling up my mouth,

I think my hair is falling out.

My elbow's bent, my spine ain't straight,

My temperature is one-o-eight.

My brain is shrunk, I cannot hear,

There is a hole inside my ear.

I have a hangnail, and my heart is-what?

What's that? What's that you say?

You say today is...Saturday?

G'bye, I'm going out to play! '